Becoming a stay-at-home wife has been such a blessing for me and my family. It’s not for everyone, but if you have been wanting to do this there are some things to set up and consider before making this life a reality.
Every person’s circumstances are different so it may be an option for some and not for others. It also may be easier for some than others. My goal is to give you a look into someone’s life so you can get another person’s perspective on how they did it. Your journey will likely not look the same as mine and that’s okay.
As my Husband and I prepared for me to stay at home we focused on a few aspects of our life that we’d need to continuously be evaluated to be able to sustain this way of living.
Things we needed before making this leap
Making this change was a big deal so we had to have some things discussed and set up prior to us finalizing the decision. The first is that we’d be able to live off of one wage. That wage is my husband’s. I know that’s a huge thing and not a very simple task at that. We were very blessed that my husband made enough so that we would be able to do this decently easily if we were wise with our money and our bills that we could adjust.
We had to make a realistic budget so we could make sure we could live off of his income. We saw where we could cut out unnecessary spending so that we could afford to live off of his income. We also made a budget on what expenses we had and had to stick to it. Not always the most fun thing to do, but sticking to our budget is well worth it knowing it is the reason I am able to stay at home.
Everyone and each family is different on what they need to live comfortably and that’s okay! When making your budget make sure to be realistic with what your family will be able to do.
Our debt and spending had to be under control for us to make this jump. We had to know that we would not be living above our means and that we could afford our current debt and not create more. This was a big one for us to be able to sustain this lifestyle. Us creating an emergency fund also helped us be able to ensure that we would not need to turn to debt if something came up.
If life ever got hard with unexpected expenses or my husband’s income changed we talked about what we are willing to give up if we ever needed to. We made a budget that we would follow if we ever were in that situation. This budget is meant for the short term while we get things under control. We do not want to be living off of our bare minimum long-term. If we ever need to adjust and get two incomes to provide for our family I’d be more than happy to get a job.
We also talked about what my and his role would be. We didn’t just prepare for this change financially. This would change our lifestyle completely so we wanted to make sure we knew what was expected of us in the home. This will also look different for everyone. Here’s some of what we decided so that you can get an idea of what it can look like.
I do most of the household managing. This includes schedules, managing bills, as well as keeping up with taking care of the house with chores, cooking, cleaning, etc. I have many jobs and do take on most of the responsibilities it takes to run and manage the home. My husband works and provides for the family financially and has a few jobs and chores he does around the house as well. This is what works for our family at this moment and can be reevaluated as our family needs change. This, however, is not a hard fast rule. If one of us needs help we are more than willing to jump in and help where we can when needed. Even if it is their chore or job. Everyone needs help at times.
Without these things, we would not be able to make it work for my family to have me stay at home. You may have different things you need before you can do this, but this is what we had to do for my family. It did not happen overnight and took some time to get things in order so don’t be discouraged if you are not there yet. We had to make the decision we were going to work towards this goal before deciding we would be officially having me switch to staying at home. We did not come to those decisions on the same day.
Cost of living
We have actually moved one time since I became a stay-at-home wife and this was a big decision. We decided to buy a home that would increase our cost of living dramatically. This made us have to reconsider and restructure all the things I talked about above.
We didn’t make this decision lightly and it definitely was a harder decision and a lot more went into picking a home because we are living off of one person’s income. That being said, with the income my husband makes we were able to make the decision to buy a home, which not everyone is able to do. Prior to this, we were renting and it was a much cheaper option for us and it definitely made it easier for us to live off of one income. Our budget is now much tighter and we had to make some sacrifices, but we decided that it would be worth it for our family.
As long as we are living off of one income we will need to make decisions and some sacrifices in what the cost of living looks like for our family. Making sure when we move we can afford the cost of the new place will be, utilities, etc. Me staying at home will always be a priority for us so we adjust what our options of places to live are.
You may have an expensive place to live and may need to consider moving to a more cost-effective place if able to. Everyone’s circumstances are different, but with rent or a mortgage being probably the biggest bill you have it’s worth evaluating. There are many other ways to lower your cost of living with I touched on above.
Emergency Fund
We had this as our top priority for a year and put a lot into building this fund up quickly. We wanted to be able to have some wiggle room if anything happened where funds would be short. We decided on having 3 months of expenses saved up and we made sure to be generous with this number and not make it the cost of just getting by. That way we’d have a good amount in case something ever happened that we would need the money.
Willing to work if needed
From the start, I have been willing to pick up a job again or find ways to make money. We decided that if we ever felt like I needed to get a long-term job again I would. We also came up with ways that I would be able to create small incomes if we ever needed or wanted some extra cash for something.
Being willing to get creative on ways to be able to provide some extra money for my family has absolutely come in handy. Things like vacations, Christmas, birthdays, etc. can get stressful with the extra expenses so trying to find many ways to make some extra cash for these things if your family needs it or it’d be helpful to have is a great idea. Click here to get some ideas on ways to generate some income for you and your family as a stay-at-home wife.
Are you ready to stay at home?
No matter what part of the process you are in. Whether you are still trying to decide if you want to or if you are ready to take the leap. It takes time and it is an adjustment, a big one at that. I am coming up on a year of staying at home and going to soon be adding the title of mom onto it. Life circumstances have changed many times throughout just this year and are going to continue to do so. Preparing the best we could was so helpful to us. As well as deciding to live within our means no matter how that looks and it’s already looked incredibly different multiple times it’s been so worth it. Put some hard work in upfront so that this transition isn’t as hard on you. If you have to make this transition before you are “ready” you can still work towards these goals while staying at home, it just might take a little longer or require you to get just that more creative.
In case you need the reminder, you got this and things take time! Staying at home can be so beautiful, but it can also be lonely, and unfulfilling at times. With that being said I wouldn’t change it for the world and I am so grateful.
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